New developments…an exciting prospect.

There have been several massive changes in my life that have occured so fast an violently that I feel like I’m still in the crazy whirlwind. Its been very hard to really realise that its real and that I have to cope with it. The biggest thing at the moment is that Master has decided that we are to live in a polyamorous household. In short – we’re about to take on a few more slaves. I have never been comfortable with this idea, but it’s never been my choice anyway, however I’ve never liked it due to my simple jealousy for Master. I picture it as something like middle-child syndrome…when your the first you get all the attention, but when the second comes along, you lose all that love and affection, or at the very least have it divided. It hurt, to be sure.

The other major part of this is that Master has decided that I shall be lead-slave of the household. I’m essentially being made the mommy of the bunch! I’m really not much older than these 2 new ones, however they are extremely un-experienced and young, and will require a lot of guidance, that I think Master just doesn’t have enough time for. I believe all the rudimentary training will have to be done by me. He believes that because I have first hand experience that I will be a great role model for these new submissives. Problem is…just a few short months ago I was looking forward to becoming a mindless animal, with the aspirations of being permanently boxed! Now?!?! Lead slave?! what the fuck!

I have my mind back. I don’t like it – I’ll be honest with you. I don’t like having to think, and work, and do all these tasks that have been thrust upon me…but I suppose…real slavery isn’t easy – I suppose my life before while harsh and abusive, was easy, and what I enjoyed…

With my newfound freedom I went online and looked up the 9/11 conspiracies…I was glued to my monitor and ignoring the slaves for upwards of 6 hours, just watching movies like Zeitgeist and Martial Law 9/11: Rise of the Police State. While its wonderful to be able to hop on the net and do these things, and inform myself…am I really a happier person now? I think its too early to decide that…I think theres a great many challenges that lie ahead, I mean I’ll still be used and abused, but I think a lot of Masters attention and abuse will shift to the new slaves, and I will have to mature, grow, and become a functioning, useful being again. I am a little bit scared, a little anxcious, a little excited…the prospects of living as a human…and a slave are beginning to become known to me, and I think I just might enjoy this! Perhaps I should just trust in Master’s wisdom, he says he sees something greater in me that he doesn’t want to waste…I have never doubted him on anything until he said those words, but perhaps I shouldn’t start now!

Enjoy the videos…watching them made me feel very nostalgic about some of my own punishments, and I couldn’t help but tear up while watching them, and envying that wonderful girl.

until next time!