BDSM Fantasies

by Slaveduties
07, November 2008Sharing10 Comments

This picture brings out the whore in me. I stare at it and it evokes things in me…dirty things. I don’t know if being a whore is theoretically a fetish, but if it is – I think I have it! I’ve spoken before about my first “Master” back when I was quite young – he was no older than me, and my friend and I had solicited him to be our pimp! We just wanted to be whores – I do miss that girl quite a bit by the way, she ended up moving away with her parents. We were quite a team, she was just as much a whore as I was/am. If by some crazy fluke Louise you happen to read my blog lol, please – contact me!!

Seeing artwork like this makes me jealous – to the very core of myself, I feel jealous of this poor girl in the picture. I mean, realistically – where could something like this happen in reality? Perhaps it could, but not in the same context. It could happen perhaps at a fetish play party – but in that case, are you actually being whored out? Stuck in a box, violated by men you don’t want inside you? No, your quite simply just fulfilling half the actual fantasy. It might be fun, but it ain’t the real thing.

The real thing – it’s never quite the same is it? Fantasies are fantasies, but so many people I communicate with have fulfilled fantasies and many times they are not as they presumed they would be. They experience these fantasies…being choked, raped, tied up, made into a foot rest – and often, they are simply not satisfied. Why? I think the mind’s eye is just more powerful than real perceived experiences ever could be. It’s kinda of sad, to be honest! That being said, I endure some horrible things. I am only happy when I’m…not happy. Well, thats not really true – I am happy to be hurt, I love when my ass burns from being stretched from Master’s cock. It’s so confusing – it’s hard to formulate into a coherent sentence. All I know is that BDSM enthusiasts like myself must be an undergraduate pshycologist’s term paper’s wet dream.

I know I harp on and on like a broken record about Master’s site – but it makes me proud to know how many people have found out what real BDSM relationships really are all about.

What makes you tick? What about being hurt, or hurting someone else satisfies you? Can you poinpoint the reason why these things make you hard? Make you wet? Please, leave a comment!

10 Comments

  1. Admin
    Elaine
    07 November 08, 10:47pm

    It is hard to put into words. My current dom has asked me several times to try to explain it, but I really can’t. It’s not the pain I crave, it’s being completely at his mercy, completely subjugated, if only for a few hours (in my case). I am happy to be hurt, not so much because I enjoy the pain, which I do in a way, but because it is one way that I show my dom that I have totally given myself over to him. That is the best I have been able to come up with.

    The only thing I can say for certain is that I do it because I want to do it, because I need to do it. The thought of being completely given over to my dom gets me hot and wet like nothing else does.

    Reply
  2. Admin
    uberscribbler
    07 November 08, 11:24pm

    I really wish I knew exactly why I so often fantasize about essentially brutalizing another human being, never mind derive a degree of emotional satisfaction from the thought of, say, whipping a girl until her flesh is shredded. Or from repeatedly driving my knee into a cuckold’s groin.

    I suspect its a reaction to a great deal of emotional abuse in my childhood, both at the hands of peers as well as my parents. This of course is a strong argument against my ever having such power over another person; its far too easy to loose control of myself. Its a terrifying thought, and a sickening one that there are those who take delight in systematically destroying another person, changing them into something vastly different (and likely less) than they originally were.

    That said, I take heart from the reality that such fantasies are not wholly uncommon and that I’m not automatically pathologically driven to seek fulfillment of them. I write fiction (for my own enjoyment, not publication) and this is a frequent theme of late. One story I’m focusing on involves a military officer discovering his long-missing lover just after she’s been brutalized; he has to deal both with her injuries and his own long-simmering rage at her running away years earlier. A counselor tells him (I hope this is accurate) that such anger is understandable and acceptable, provided he doesn’t go through with any of the momentary fantasies of violent retribution he’d visit on her.

    I guess what I’m trying to communicate is that, for myself, a BD/SM relationship would be more my striking out from long-term emotional wounds. The ferocious sexuality involved is…heady. And frightening, which is part of the attraction as well, and which worries me even more.

    Sorry this is such a wordy and rambling comment. Your openness concerning your own drives and what you’ve undergone is nothing short of amazing. I envy your good fortune in finding your Master and his household where you can live so true to yourself. Many thanks for sharing yourself so fully with the rest of us.

    Reply
  3. Admin
    Slaveduties
    08 November 08, 2:13am

    Thank you so much both of you for being so honest and contributing your thoughts. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.

    Uber, I think your feelings are normal as well as justified. You cannot control how you feel, react or how your brain chooses to cope and deal with past experiences. However, you can indeed control how you act upon them. I think expressing those feelings in a consensual manner would be good for all parties involved – and absolutely think you should seek someone whom you can share that with. I truly wish you the best in your search for peace of mind!

    Again thank you for your outpouring, and I hope you and others continue to do so :)

    Reply
  4. Admin
    a.w.s.
    08 November 08, 8:03pm

    Hi

    I just came across your website and i love it. I’ve checked out your Masters also. I wouldn’t normally comment but i was reading ubers comment and it rang true but also sent a shiver down my spine. i think i too may be attracted to this lifestyle because of my past however unlike uber i don’t seek out others to hurt them, more the other way around, i seek others to hurt me. Not just physically but emotionally also. i’d like to break the cycle but i’m still attracted to cold, cruel, unavailable men.

    Reply
  5. Admin
    uberscribbler
    12 November 08, 11:27pm

    Given the comment by a.w.s., I feel compelled to add a bit to my own original comment (well aware I may well make a fool of myself in the process, but such is life).

    One could reduce much of this lifestyle down to basic imperatives, driven as much by bio-chemistry (endorphines are wonderful, addictive things for dealing with both physical and emotional stress/distress) as by our primate ancestry (apologies to any creationists out there). I’m firmly of the opinion however that its more intricate than that.

    Yes, the submissive/masochist gets the endorphine rush thanks to their treatment, but that’s a temporary thing in comparison to the potential damage that will linger. But what of the dominant/sadist? I’m constantly wrestling with what manner of ‘rush’ they get out of it.

    I don’t think I’m violent person by nature or inclination. Yes, I get frustrated with life like anyone else, and yes I’ve got issues in my past. So why do I get an emotional thrill from the thought of reducing another human to little more than an emotional smear on the road? Its a terrifying thing, especially when one considers the full implications of what it means to break someone, never mind enslave another body, mind and soul.

    Its that last part that always gets me, even when consent and willing surrender are involved. What kind of person can manage to hold such power over another and not succumb to the temptation it embodies? I’ve yet to meet such a paragon, and know myself too well to even dream I could manage it (never mind I lack the essential training for it; I’m strictly Old School here and doubt I could willingly kneel to another to learn the necessary lessons for it).

    Before I said the emotions and energies involved were frightening. The fact is they’re nothing short of terrifying, and ironically intrinsic to our humanity. I truly hope a.w.s. can find someone who they (I make no assumptions about gender here) are safe and secure with; feeling so is important, but actual safety is paramount imo. I’d half consider offering myself, save for the reasons I’ve already enumerated above and a host of others beside.

    I feel I should again apologize for being so verbose here. Some dom, eh? Thanks again to the list owner – I’m not sure how to address you and so err to caution here – for providing this forum.

    And to a.w.s., I earnestly pray you can find safe harbor someday soon.

    Reply
  6. Admin
    Elaine
    13 November 08, 11:25pm

    uberscribbler, a good dom has to know him/herself and his/her own strengths and weaknesses. It sounds like you are well on the way to doing so. There have been times my dom has called off a session because he knew that his own emotional and mental state would make it difficult for him to stay in control and keep the session from sliding into abuse. There have been times when I’ve had to tell my dom that I was feeling unsure of myself and needed an “easy” session. Both doms and subs need to know themselves and let themselves be known by the other – and feel free to say such things.

    It seems to me that those of us involved in BDSM relationships have to be far more communicative and open than those in plain vanilla ones because of the higher potential for abuse and damage. My dom calls that level of communication and openness “sharing your third heart.” It’s where your most secret self lives, that part of you that you almost never let anyone else see – that is where those of us who enjoy this lifestyle have to live, openly sharing fantasies and desires, letting each other know what we do and do not want and need, and letting each other know where we want to go. It’s not always easy, but it is necessary.

    I think both doms and subs struggle with their desires at times and question why we want what we want and do what we do. I do at times, I know my dom does. It’s normal to do so. It’s part of being human.

    Answers aren’t easy to find, but they are always worth searching for. unberscribbler and a.w.s., I hope you both find what you are seeking.

    Reply
  7. Admin
    d.a.
    04 December 08, 1:36pm

    Sorry for the long post in advance…

    Uberscribbler: The very idea that you so deeply desire to avoid the anger that tears at your being displays you might not be giving yourself enough credit to stop when you have to. I cannot help you fight your demons (myself not having the same background or required training), but I can tell you having competing passions for aggression and domination are normal–they only become dangerous if you act directly on your worst thoughts. Instead of fighting your nature, you have to find a way to accept what happened in your past, that the cycle ends with you, and find another outlet for your desires. You don’t have to “strip away your defenses” as they say, merely work to transform them into something more adaptive (versus maladaptive). You have to find a way for you and your future sub to remain safe and faithful to yourselves.

    I can’t even consider myself new to the lifestyle because for me it’s only fantasy. I don’t know the first thing about finding the right dom anywhere in my area (after careful soul searching, I have to admit I’d be happiest as a sub for either a M or F). Part of me is drawn to the levels of trust, something that’s very hard for me. I happenned upon this wonderful site the other night and have found it one of the most informative and friendly sites offered. I would offer myself to you (after getting to know you, of course), but alas that’s only fantasy again. I see powerful emotion and drive in you that you’re afraid to lose control of–yet I also see a compassionate individual who’s concern for the fragility of life will keep your fears in check. I wouldn’t have dreamed of posting here if I didn’t think that and I don’t even know you.

    To a.w.s.: good luck in your search! But be careful and do it for the right reasons.

    Elaine: What you wrote is so true. If vanillas were truely open with each other like people in the “taboo” BDSM world, they might have more satisfaction in their relationships. They just don’t understand.

    Reply
  8. Admin
    BDSM Fantasies | Savage Pleasures
    25 March 09, 9:22pm

    [...] BDSM Fantasies [...]

    Reply
  9. Admin
    Cass
    23 September 10, 12:38am

    For me it was simple. The first time I saw my wife’s belly and tits jerk from his deep belly punch , and the deep groan that escaped her “O” shaped lips , I was hooked. I can’t describe the feeling , but it was fantastic. I too soon learned how wonderful belly pain is , and he does my wife and I togeather now.

    Reply
  10. Admin
    Willem Stewart
    06 January 11, 9:02pm

    Indeed. This mental paradox is definitely a Psychologist’s wet dream. Being one myself, as well as a Dom, I often find myself attempting to unravel my Sub’s tangled mental skein. Thus far the only explanations, that can only explain parts of the equation, mind you, are Freudian. And if one knows anything about psychology, they know that Sigmund Freud was a master at determining the causes of certain paradoxes through the psychosexual theory. But even so, the question of a Subs pleasure-and-pain combination still stumps the Freudian formula.

    Reply

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