BDSM Dating – The Inside Scoop (Update!)

by Slaveduties
08, January 2010Sharing12 Comments

I’ve gotten a lot of emails and responses in previous posts from people who ask me if Master would take on another slave, or if they could just join us in one of our BDSM sessions. Although it is extremely flattering for someone to want to be by my side in servitude, or even for someone to see Master as I do, and appreciate his expert skills of domination, I also find it sad that people have to go so far just to fulfill their fantasies. You shouldn’t have to travel across a country or into a new country just to be able to physically be with someone who understands your needs and desires.

I guess that’s why I am such a firm believer of Alt.com. And also probably because it really did work for me. I know the stigma that comes along with any type of online dating site. But you have to admit that this isn’t just a dating site. Okay so people who use dating sites are sometimes labeled as being desperate or a little crazy. But I mean those prejudices happened because it is relatively easy to ask someone out on a date and there are plenty of things that you can do in your own town that will enable you to potentially find your ‘soul mate’. But with BDSM it is different. There aren’t that many places to go unless you live in a big city that has a large BDSM community. And even then, you have to admit that these communities can be a little cliquish and rather small at times.

Even worse is the fact that everyone has their own fetishes. We all know how hard it is to find someone who shares the same dislikes and likes as us for a relationship, so now think about how much harder it is to find someone who not only shares that with you but who also shares the same types of fetishes with you. Sure relationship all are about compromise, so you agree to try out some things that you are not that into just as your partner does the same for you. That is what is so great about Alt.com, you can literally chose to talk to people who share the same fetishes as you and see if you get along with them on an intellectual level, already knowing that you are compatible when it comes to anything BDSM related. How often have you been scared to mention your fetishes to someone you are dating? It’s not the easiest thing to tell someone that you would like them to pee in your mouth or flog you until you cry.

I had so many relationships that went sour for me because of my own fetishes. So many guys just didn’t seem to understand what I meant when I said that I wanted them to be more dominating. For some reason most vanilla guys think that they are super kinky just because they pull your hair or are rough in bed. They don’t comprehend that I don’t want them to smack my ass while they fuck me but would prefer that they tie me up and beat me. It’s hard for people like that to understand that being dominant or kinky does not necessarily involve sex although it is sexual. I’ve had to end so many long term relationships because once we got comfortable enough to talk about what we like to do behind closed doors, or what our fantasies are, I would tell them what I wanted to try and inevitably they would make me feel as though there was something wrong with me. Once I got online and started searching for ways to meet someone who had the same interests as I and who was willing to treat me as I wanted to be treated, I suddenly realized that I was not crazy at all. There was a whole world of people just like me. And there were so many guys who were willing to play with me, I suddenly had a ton of options.

I’ll never forget how nervous I was when I first started chatting with people on Alt.com and how excited I became every time someone messaged me back. If it wasn’t for the internet and this site, I’m sure not where I would be today but I know damn well that I would not be as happy and content as I am today. I doubt this very blog would exist if I hadn’t of used Alt! Go register right now and find that person that will treat you like you want to be treated!

Plus there’s tons of stuff to do like just browse, or maybe check out some members blogs – or even their webcams! Join a chat room (with region specific rooms!), or read their free online magazine!

Point is – get out there, and live the life you want to live. I did, and I ain’t ever looking back!

12 Comments

  1. Admin
    s
    11 January 10, 1:01am

    You have a fascinating blog. I recently discovered it and took the time to read through your posts. I have to say I’ve never read anything like it and am amazed/disgusted/in awe etc. I hope you plan to keep writing. I loved reading your stories about your daily life and hope you plan to return to blogging more about that rather than website reviewing. Either way just wanted to let you know you are a great writer and your lifestyle is fascinating to read about.

    Reply
  2. Admin
    Xena
    12 January 10, 10:48pm

    Ok, so I’m totally suprised that I recognized that map. I live in CR and was just expecting that like all great blog writers you were halfway across the country.

    Anyway, keep up the good work. I really enjoy reading about your life.

    Reply
  3. Admin
    Hentai
    14 January 10, 11:22pm

    I did join this site that said however im tight with money and they are stingy to ppl without silver or gold accounts so funny how the accout I set up with them is almost useless its only purpose is to be seen by others I cant check my own e-mails or other ppls profiles without forking out money its really evil to let ppl set up accounts just to tell them thats as far as they can go they can set up an account and thats it or pay £100 something a year if you meet someone thats good but if you dont then the money was wasted its a double edged sword

    (Sigh):(

    Reply
  4. Admin
    Hentai
    14 January 10, 11:29pm

    Oh Xena

    If you see the msg just to say she may be farther away then you think if im correct in saying the internet does this special thing where it creates a map around the area you are based and in this for me its showing me near the London area in your case its different.

    I could be wrong that said however I always get msgs claiming tthat theres all these sexy women in a town 1 mile away I know thats all rubbish because half of them will live in america and the other half somewhere else.

    Just to let you know if you are reading this i could be wrong but i doubt it.

    (Oh love the blog by the way lol just thought i would add that my randomness never ends)

    Reply
  5. Admin
    Morralls
    17 January 10, 5:33am

    Hi there slaveduties. I was wondering if you would e-mail me. I’ve read seven pages of your blog and I’m really intrigued and interested in talking to a slave about what it’s like.

    MRF_826@hotmail.com

    Reply
  6. Admin
    Slaveduties
    18 January 10, 10:49am

    Hentai,

    I agree with you to a certain degree about the money issue, but at the same time it’s kind of understandable…what they do is their livelihood…just like other sites sell advertising to make a living. What they do is their job, just like if you rang up those old types of dating services you’d have to pay them :) While I’d love for everything online to be free, unfortunately the internet is just like the real-world…you don’t expect to go into a an ice-cream parlor and expect to get a free icecream cone after the free taste test?

    I do know of some other BDSM community sites that are free to use, perhaps I’ll do a review of one of those in the future, I have reviewed alt.com several times simply because it’s what I used to get into the lifestyle I’m in and really am thankful that they exist every day!

    Reply
  7. Admin
    Magix
    19 January 10, 5:20pm

    I find this blog so fascinating and I’ve read through the whole thing more than once. I hope to hear more from you about your daily life and the lives of others. I have an acute fascination with bdsm so I find slaveduties most interesting. It’s helped give me ideas, so thanks for that! Will be checking in regularly.

    Reply
  8. Admin
    Bryant Jernstad
    02 March 10, 1:44am

    Hello just came across your blog and been reading some of your posts and just wondering why you chose a WordPress blog dont you find it impossible to do anything with? Been thinking about starting one.

    Reply
  9. Admin
    Wyrd
    02 March 10, 4:55pm

    Most people are leaving the dating sites like ALT and collarme due to the high number of fakes on those sites now. You are far more likely to encounter spam and scammers than anything else on them now. Most have gone over to fetlife. However the best bet for meeting someone is still your local munch groups, there you can see how they interact with others, check their reputations, etc.

    Reply
  10. Admin
    sydney
    17 March 10, 7:49am

    I hope to hear more from you about your daily life and the lives of others. its really a fantastic post. I’ll do a review of one of those in the future. Thanks

    Reply
  11. Admin
    Computer Repair Milnrow
    21 March 10, 10:41am

    I do know of some other BDSM community sites that are free to use

    Reply
  12. Admin
    Nothing found for 2010 06 23 It-takes-two-to-tango
    24 June 10, 3:55am

    [...] BDSM Dating – The Inside Scoop (Update!) [...]

    Reply

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