Servitude

by Slaveduties
26, May 2010Sharing10 Comments

BDSM ServitudeIt’s been a long time since I questioned my life. When I first got into this relationship with Master, I would question it often. I would be kneeling there, accepting a vicious beating – by some form of torturous implement…tears streaming down my pretty face, and I would ask myself silently in my head “Why am I doing this?”. Slowly but surely, the questions went away. The more Master abused me, used me, and most importantly – loved me. It may seem like Master is always harsh with me…and, well – he is with me, quite a bit – but he is also very loving. He rarely abuses me, just to abuse me. Like I wrote about in this post – sometime I’m so good of a slave that he can go quite a while without beating me, or torturing me, or punishing me, that I do things to inflict it upon myself.

It’s been a long time since I questioned my life. Last night – I kneeled in front of Master with a cup of coffee (hence the picture I found) and I found myself questioning my life for the firstBDSM Servitude time in a long time. I asked “Why am I doing this? He is all comfortable in his couch, while I kneel here – my knees hurting, simply because he hasn’t felt the need to take his coffee yet, so I must suffer kneeling here. Why am I doing this?” And the remarkable part was that I had the answer…for the first time in my life, when I questioned my life – I had the answer. Maybe it just took all this to get here, to have that answer.

Follow me after the break to find out what my answer was.Love. That was my answer. I felt an intense love for Master in that instant. Don’t get me wrong, I always feel love for him – but after questioning myself, I looked up at him – and I felt an intense burning love. I put my head on his knee, and rubbed it – like a faithful dog would to his owner. He put his hand on my head, and rubbed my hair, and I felt so loved in return. He bent down and took the cup of coffee and put it aside, then with his big hands, literally picked me up off the ground and curled my naked form up next to him. My head on his chest, he caressed my hair and tickled my neck – and we watched T.V. –  Usually while he watches TV I’m his footstool – or he inserts his cock into my ass, and I slowly ride him for hours while he relaxes and watches TV.

It was refreshing to feel that kind of “normalcy” which I don’t get with him often. He often is intimate like that with Mistress friends or other women. I’ve long since gotten over the jealousy – I’m not equal with him, or any of his female friends…I’m much much lower, so I take pleasure in that he gets pleasure from those other women – when I watch him, and I serve them…bring them water, or a cigarette after they are finished fucking – I am as involved in the sexual experience as they are…as their slave. But to be honest, it was very nice to have that nice normal intimacy with him.

Master, I love you to the ends of the earth. I know now that even if I do question myself – I have the answer. And the answer will always be the same. I love being owned by you – and I know you’ll read this post. Don’t for a second think it is a plea to be more intimate with me like we did the other night. I want only to serve and please you – it was nice…but I do not expect it, I do not expect anything from you. I am here only to give, and not to take. Thank you Master.

10 Comments

  1. Admin
    Hentai
    27 May 10, 5:29am

    That second pic is sexy got to love the panty shot well hentai= pervert damn lol and on a more serious note im really jealous of your master to have a women who commits like that hes a lucky son of a bitch

    Reply
  2. Admin
    Bethan
    27 May 10, 3:13pm

    I couldnt see how to post on your last post so I have on here … I dont think you’ve ever told us much about the other house slave, are you leading the house below your Master? Is it a girl, what do they do!!

    Reply
  3. Admin
    Bethan
    27 May 10, 3:19pm

    and now i’ve just read your post that was a really rubbish thing to say after such an amazing blog post … I understand completely what you mean … it doenst matter what sort of relationship you’re in, if it’s right for both of you, and you really really love each other … people really will go to the ends of the earth for each other, whatever that may be in each relationship, in your case for you to serve and for him to own, in my own its a totally different dynamic, and some people may not understand our dynamic, and it will be different again for the next couple

    Reply
  4. Admin
    Slaveduties
    27 May 10, 3:23pm

    I’ll try and write a blog post soon about the other house slave :)

    Not sure what you mean by this line though ” and now i’ve just read your post that was a really rubbish thing to say after such an amazing blog post”

    what do you mean? what was a rubbish thing to say?

    Reply
  5. Admin
    ElaineC
    27 May 10, 7:57pm

    That was a beautiful blog post, Slaveduties. You and your Master are fortunate to have found each other.

    As much as I love my plain vanilla boyfriend, my love for my dom is different and in some ways deeper because he understands a part of me that my plain vanilla boyfriend never will. I suppose I should count myself lucky that I could even tell him about that part of myself – I know some who can’t.

    Reply
  6. Admin
    Mel
    28 May 10, 1:42am

    I literally just cried after reading your post. I have always longed to be owned but have been held back be fear and confusion. It seemed to me that no one in a M/s or D/s relationship ever really talked about love. I thought that might be because love wasn’t really an important part of these relationships. Being a very passionate person love is probably the one and only thing I could never imagine living without. It seems to me now after reading your post that those fears might be quite off base and that love is just expressed differently in M/s relationships. So thank you, you have made me feel much better and ready to continue the journey of figuring out where I belong.

    Reply
  7. Admin
    Anja
    31 May 10, 8:40pm

    Oh Slaveduties… my heart just goes out to you so much after this post. my Master is just starting to train me (since i am new to the submissive life) and any time He takes the moment to just hold me and be close and intimate with me is a rare treat… then again EVERYTHING He does is a treat… it’s all so new… any way, thank you for being able to indirectly reasure me that if ever i question it, the WHY i do what i do, that it is normal to do so… thank you Slaveduties

    Reply
  8. Admin
    Bethan
    05 June 10, 1:20pm

    @Slaveduties

    I meant that I posted about the houseslave … and then read your beautiful post … and wished I’d written something more meaningful as my first response! :-)

    Reply
    • Admin
      Slaveduties
      07 June 10, 1:19pm

      oh I get it :) Sorry I just wanted to make sure I knew where you were coming from – thanks for the wonderful comments :)

      Reply
  9. Admin
    jas
    11 June 10, 9:59am

    not too sure if i understand why you’re doing this but just glad you’re following your heart ;D

    Reply

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