It Takes Two to Tango
by Slaveduties
I’ve spoken about Alt.com numerous times already, and for good reason. To feel the full effect and explore the possibilities that BDSM has to offer, it really takes two to tango. Self-bondage is fun (god knows I tied myself up enough) – but to feel truly helplessly bound, or to truly bind someone helplessly, or do whatever cruel perverted things you want to them…it takes two to tango. This forum post by DarkTruth, an avid poster on the Slaveduties.com Forums quoted something I wrote a while back – and it meant a lot to me that he felt as if I was talking to him specifically. It means a lot to me that my blog talks to people. Sure I post plenty of porn, which I think all of us love – but I’m also very proud that there is something that people can take away and think about as well.
From this post:“I know the stigma that comes along with any type of online dating site. But you have to admit that this isn’t just a dating site. Okay so people who use dating sites are sometimes labeled as being desperate or a little crazy. But I mean those prejudices happened because it is relatively easy to ask someone out on a date and there are plenty of things that you can do in your own town that will enable you to potentially find your ‘soul mate’. But with BDSM it is different. There aren’t that many places to go unless you live in a big city that has a large BDSM community. And even then, you have to admit that these communities can be a little cliquish and rather small at times.”
What I said then, still holds true now – and will likely always hold true. BDSM will likely always be on the fringe of society, which is fine, but it does make meeting people quite difficult. People can waste years of their lives hopping from relationship to relationship, hoping someday they’ll find someone kinky – and like DarkTruth said…not only kinky, but into their particular kinks. I know many people who spent years as lonely souls in this situation – and it broke my heart to watch them. While I sat back, so fulfilled, constantly under Master’s thumb – feeling so owned.
I think BDSM dating sites like Alt.com have changed people’s lives for the better – I believe they are a technology in this world that has truly helped people. I think they used to get a bad wrap, like only nerds go on those…but in 2010, internet dating sites are as normal and common as anything! They’ve gotten so much mainstream press, and so many millions and millions of people have used them, that there is no stigma about them anymore – which is truly refreshing. Why go to a meat market bar, and hope to find someone that is willing to kneel at your feet, and accept your beating? Why not just do a search for people who like that in particular? It makes a lot of sense even to a pea-brain slave such as myself!
It takes two to tango…Go Find Your Partner :)
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One brilliant example is Puppygirl. There is no way she would have found a Master who was into puppyplay like she was just by going to an ordinary bar and even if she went to a Munch she probably wouldn’t have found anyone who was into puppy play. The chance of going to a bar and finding someone you like and who’s into this is very slim and the chance of finding someone who’s into your own fetishes is even smaller. Even though Dating sites have a bit of a stigma attached to them (something I’m going to have to get over) for BDSM relationships they make a lot of sense.
I couldn’t agree more! I am a member of Alt.Com and proudly so. As an 18yr old university student, going to a bar and meeting men could be quite unfufilling!
However I have found problems with the people on Alt. Not Alt.com the website, but some of the people who use it. Because of my age I have found people not willing to take me seriously, or people who are old enough to be my father assuming that i should want to talk to them and be appreciative for it – just because I state that I am submissive. I do state that a big age difference turns me off, but what can you do!
However, I am just moaning as Alt is a great site, where I have spoken to some amazing people. Either way the whole point o f this post was to say thank you to you for pointing me in the right direction of the site :)
I’ve found that it can be difficult for people to take me seriously as well (mainly in life rather than in the BDSM world though). I don’t see why a young Sub would have any difficulties though, I can understand people not take me seriously (same age as you but a Dom) but I really don’t understand why they wont take you seriously. Some people are just very strange I think.
yeah, it is very surprising. I think quite a lot of people assume I don’t know what I want or am not ready for it because of my age. That is very wrong! My biggest pet hate on Alt is people assuming i should worship them even though I’ve never spoken to them before.
but apart from that, I stand by Alt, I think it is an awesome site :)
I had the same issue with my age, eventually you come across people that you jive well with though, and age isn’t an issue :) Keep at it!
I wish you would write more about your everyday life and the “activities” in which you partake in
I’ll try and make a point of doing this more :)
i met my Master, my One, my Love on Alt. Niether of U/us was looking for anything more than an M/s relationship but it has developed into so much more. Where else would i have found a Man who was willing to be my Master, to understand that i am a switch and cannot be content being on the bottom all the time. Not only does He embrace both sides of me but encourages them as well. He is strictly a Top but finds subs for me to use under His guidance. How many men would i have had to meet and date before finding a Man like my Master in the vanilla world?