Trust. That one word is so very meaningful and powerful especially in a BDSM relationship. Faith is also important…faith in one’s dominant to know what is best for you, to have faith that he/she will guide you down the right path. Faith in the trust that you put into your dominant is essential to be a successful submissive. I realized that this past Friday.
As of Friday morning I had been locked up in Chastity for just over three months. Many friends from the Slaveduties community chat will know how frustrated I’ve been. A long period of chastity for a nymphomaniac such as myself is no easy ordeal. Moreso however I’d been struggling with something far worse and disorienting. Our house slave had gotten quite the attitude on her, and it seemed that my Master was supporting it. I couldn’t tell why, and to say I was frustrated was the absolute understatement of the century.
Previously I had held a higher position than our house slave…I could tell her what to do, I was “lead slave” – meaning, I was still a grovelling worm in comparison to Master, but the house slave was still beneath me in regards to household hierarchy.
This seemed to change over the past weeks and months. Master has been keeping me from walking by attaching belts around my theighs and calves, with thin plastic-coated wire cinching them together between my calves and theighs so they could not move, locking me to my knees for days at a time. Meanwhile the house slave was free to roam around the house, walk any time she wanted. She would taunt me…giggling at my immobility, or the humiliation of being so far beneath her all the time. She would stand next to me and graze my cheek with her toes…knowing full well my unbearable foot fetish, and being so wound up sexually from having been in chastity I would always give in and begin worshiping her feet, which would draw out more giggles…more taunting. Always above me, always seemingly in control.
Where had my control gone? Why had I been relegated to the floor? I was the favorite…wasn’t I? I had seniority!
Master began showing clear favoritism. He would make love to her always knowing I was within earshot or could very well see them across the room. They made love on top of my cage while I was trying to sleep (yes I sleep locked in a cage). Master would use me anally, and then finish inside her pussy. For someone so addicted to orgasms as myself, being in chastity for so long, witnessing this was almost unbearable.
Why was this happening? Had I displeased my Master, such that I was now nothing? Yet still throughout all of this, with the websites and work stuff – clearly I was still very important. I work closely with Master on many projects, I’ve become quite the little helper. Yet, in terms of domestic life I was slipping further and further down the food chain.
I began to doubt…I began to lose faith. I began to lose my trust in Master. I felt betrayed. This bitch, whom I’d previously thought as a sister was constantly taunting me…clearly enjoying her favoritism. Not getting as many beatings, sleeping in Masters bed often, while I can barely move cramped in my little cage, which truthfully I don’t mind, I love my little home, but knowing she was always in his bed. I felt like a second class citizen. And well, I’m used to that…I am technically a second class citizen. I make no choices, nothing is my decision…I do what I’m told, when I’m told, how I’m told. I do things I don’t want to do. But this bit deeper into me.
Maybe I had gotten used to being head honcho slave around the household…
sWITCHed_on, a wonderul community member here on the Slaveduties forums and a dear friend of mine one night in the chat pulled the blinders from my eyes. She gave me a revelation that I now know Master was waiting for me to have. I am eternally grateful to you witchy!
Last week, I believe it was wednesday night I was in the chat with sWITCHed_on and a few others andshe reminded me that I need to trust my Master (in a far more eloquent way I must add) – and that was the revelation…if he wanted her as his favorite, then I must accept that. Acceptance is the way of the slave, and I must have faith in my Master. I must preface that with the face that the house slave had JUST come by my little laptop on the floor with me kneeling in front of it as I always am, and she slapped my back HARD. Open handed slap right on my back, no warning, no provocation. It hurt bad. She had pranced away giggling, having a great time. I was so hurt, physically somewhat, as it did hurt a lot especially the shock and surprise of it…but emotionally, I broke…I cracked.
Right there in that chat room I began to cry, kneeling on the floor…crying, telling the chat what had just happened. I had had enough. And that’s when witchy’s revelation came. It brought me out from a deep dark pit of despair into a place of security and happiness…in my slavery. Acceptance.
I crawled over to where the house slave was, I kneeled in front of her, her feet dangling in front of me…humiliatingly. I apologized for getting upset, for having lashed out at her physically when she slapped me, even though my swing did not connect, being so immobile. I told her I did it out of shock and surprise, but that it still wasn’t my place, and that I must respect her. Instead of accepting my apology and reassuring me, she stuck her toes in my mouth. Made me worship her feet. I sunk to a level I don’t think I had ever sunk to before. This was different, this wasn’t Master…this was another slave. Another with no power, just as myself, yet now here I was – her foot shoved in my mouth…and I was powerless to object. She made me eat her out then, then pushed me away, walked away smiling, like she knew something. Yet…it was a different smile, I saw something in her eyes…but at the time I didn’t recognize it, for what it was. Love…compassion, understanding.
Friday night Master came to me, holding two keys. I was…shocked. I was truly and honestly not expecting this. He told me “Your friend from the forums DarkTruth said this friday should be your release” – so…DT…thank you!
He unlocked the belts securing my legs in a kneeling position. I….stretched…my legs flexed out, almost hyperextending my knees it felt so good to straighten them, my toes extending my feet curling. It felt…AMAZING. I lay there for a bit, letting them adjust. Master helped me to stand up, it was hard and it felt weird being so tall and high. I felt naked, and exposed. I didn’t like being so tall anymore…I wanted to be belted and on the floor again.
It’s amazing how we cling on to what we become used to…
Master kissed me passionately then, I fell into his arms. He wrapped his big arms around me holding me close. He kept saying “I’m sorry my love, I’m sorry you had to endure this” – I didn’t understand, I was still completely unaware about the lesson I’d been enduring for months. I wasn’t aware that the house slave had been instructed to be that way towards me, I didn’t know Master had made her be mean to me, to degrade me. He pit her against me, to teach me my place, to teach me how she had felt before. To teach me that at the end of the day, we are equals, and that we had both had to feel the same thing in order to understand it, and thus be closer to one another, with no animosity…to create a balanced household.
I was in another place then…I wasn’t in my body, I was floating somewhere above it. I didn’t even realize it but the house slave was below me, her mouth on my pussy. Wait…what? How…how is her mouth on my pussy?! I looked down, I saw her eyes ablaze meeting mine. I realized my chastity had been removed…I was so lightheaded and overwhlemed I hadn’t even realized it. Master had released me and she was the first thing to touch my pussy in months aside from the cold embrace of chastity. I was brought near to orgasm almost instantly…having been denied so long, teased and tormented so much I was always on the edge…it didn’t take much to bring me over the top. Master lay me down and entered me, his eyes met mine…and what happened next I actually can’t explain. I don’t even know. I can’t put into words the feeling of having an orgasm with my Master inside me, after so long, so much emotion. It was all too much, my brain came apart and I lost it. I don’t remember much to be perfectly honest. I just went somewhere else that I can’t explain, and maybe it’s better that way.
Next thing I remember I was in Master’s bed, with him and the house slave also in it. The three of us together, like a family. At that moment I still had no idea about the grand scheme, but I think about then it had come to me on my own. Between sWITCHed_on’s advice and everything kind of coming together, I wasn’t surprised when Master told me that indeed I was correct…that I had to experience what the house slave had accidentally experienced in order to be truly equals and strike a balance in the household.
Master wanted me to learn how the house slave had felt for a long time, me having been the favorite for a long time. He admitted that it was his own mistake, and that to right that mistake I would have to undergo a difficult ordeal of emotional and physical torment. Even though it was his mistake, for having created that hierarchy in the first place, I bore the brunt of the punishment…as it should be of course. The house slave had clearly felt the same way I have been feeling and it had become an issue that had to be rectified.
It has been strange getting used to everything again being “normal”…the house slave being so respectful to me now, and me to her. She not once offered her feet to me since that moment, but I’ve been making sure to still get my fill of them, to show her that I am not below worshiping her feet, and likewise she began worshiping mine…which has never ever happened before. I know she doesn’t have a foot fetish, but I imagine it was quite the odd scene, us two laying on the floor worshiping each other’s feet. It may seem silly, but there was a lot of meaning behind that action…it meant a lot to me.
It meant we were equals.
I am glad that I am able to talk about this with my first post back to the site. It has been a long summer of hardship, not only this ordeal…but many other things. Projects and life changes that have been difficult for all of us. There have been many lessons, and unfortunately my site was caught in the middle and became less of a priority. For this I apologize to the entire community. I left everyone on the forums in a place of uncertainty, not knowing if the site would be there the next day.
I promise I will never let that happen again. Slaveduties.com will never go anywhere, of that I assure everyone. This place will always be here for people to speak freely and communicate with other like minded people. It will always be a place for me to vent my feelings, and my talk about my life…because now having written this post I feel so much better, so much more clear-headed…this is what this site has always been for me. A therapy of sorts…to sort out my chosen but difficult and oftentimes confusing lifestyle as a slave.
I do truly hope everyone enjoys the new look and entirely new community area. I didn’t want to post until I felt it was complete, and while there is still more I want to do, it is now in a place I am pretty happy with. So look forward to more improvements.
I am so happy I have this place to communicate my thoughts…I don’t know what I’d do without it and without all of you. I have re-discovered my passion and intend to never let anything get in the way of it again. I will be posting a lot more, this site and all of you mean the world to me.
And now…I think I’ll go masturbate…why? Because I damn well can…that’s why!